Friday, March 23, 2012

My religion forbade me to attend your funeral Mom!

Sorry. I have taken a sabbatical leave from my blog for a couple of months now. Been busy with the normal day life, my eldest son Reuben came back for a 6 weeks holiday and after that I was plain lazy to write.

Well, after much struggle, I gathered that I better get off my butt and start writing again, else, this blog will die a slow but natural death...HAHAHAHA...and the worst part is that I will loss sight of my other blogger daddies, mommies and friends that have come to know me here.....

Picking up from where I left off from my last posting, the demise of my beloved grandmother.

My grandmother has a daughter (my mom) and three sons, all of whom have been living away from home since as long as I can remember. Even when I was a kid, I can only remember the arguments and quarrels that they constantly have when they do get together. Talk about a dysfunctional family. Well, my grandma is not exactly the mild manner mom (as revealed by my mom though I was the apple of her eye) and my late grand dad was a traditional Chinaman who believed strongly that he IS the MAN in the house and has a fiery temper to go with it.

My first uncle was the luckiest of the whole lot. He got to go to Taiwan to pursue his studies and he came back as a Chemical engineer and that was 25 years ago which is a big thing in Malaysia. He was the blue eye boy because he was the MOST educated of the lot. There were big expectations on him and of course, big expectations comes with big ego and following not far behind, is arrogance!

He found a nice job in Singapore and after several years (quite a number if I remembered correctly) finally found someone he loves and got married. His ex who was very close to my grandma was killed in a fire while he was studying in Taiwan. So close was his ex that my grandma has likened her to be her `unofficial' daughter in law and even set up an altar for her in my grandma's house.

Story has it, that my uncle and my auntie was constantly ill and not feeling well everytime they came back to visit my grandparents. After much consultation etc, some medium told them that his ex's spirit was the culprit and was jealous and was hell bend to ruin his life. Needless to say, they were terrified and hence forth made a decision not to return for a visit anymore. That was like over 15 years ago!

Forward the timeline to 5 years ago, I heard that both my uncle and my auntie are now Christians and are very actively involved in church work. He has since retired. Despite my grandma's gradual health deterioration, both has not made an attempt to return for a visit.

The last straw came when my grandma passed away. As the eldest son, we are duty bound to inform him and to make arrangements with him to return to sent my grandma off for the very last time. And surprise surprise, they have out rightly refused to return, sighting reasons of fear and their church `apparently' advise them so. My mother was devastated when he instructed her NOT even to include their names into any documentations as their RELIGION forbade them to do so.

I might not be the most religious person now but I do know that one of the Ten Commandments is "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

So, tell me, which religion in this world actually forbids a child to pay their last respect to their departed parent.

Several months have passed now after my grandma's demise. The frustration and anger in me has somewhat mellowed yet I have not fully come to comprehend nor accept the `reasons' of a son not willing to return for one last time ......:(

3 comments:

Cynthia said...

Some people are just bring shame to their religion.. seriously, no one should use 'religion' as an excuse to be filial.. no point being nice to others but not even to your own parents.. there is another news today about a guy disown his family after following some mediums..

eugene said...

I am a Christian, a nice one (hahahahah) but I have never heard such a taboo or taboos,,,sorry to say this, I think the church they are attending,is not so right lah bro... you see many so called churches are trying to act God one,you know?

Respect must always be shown to our parents, dead or alive,, you got what I mean?

Adrine said...

That's a lousy excuse. Mebbe just a coverup of another reason.

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