Sooner or Later ....

Well, this is going to happen sooner or later anyway ....

When I got home from work last week, the moment I opened the door, my MIL (mother in law) who has been staying with us for the last 2 weeks to help watch over our new pinay maid, complained to me that Ryan has whacked his sister with a toy on the head!

I went over to Chenya and discovered a red line on her forehead! Heartache! She was fine but gave me one of her `manja' look. (but then again, she always give me her manja look because she knows she can get away from almost anything with that look...so far that is)

I went over to Ryan, whom by this time was sitting quietly in one corner of our L-shape sofa, with his very guilty 'I am sorry' look.

"Did you hit mei mei?" I roared ....

"Yes ..." barely a whisper..

"I did not hear you. Did you hit mei mei?" I repeated.

"Yes ..." he replied ..and immediately followed with his standard `getting out of trouble' phrase ..."I am sorry ...I am sorry daddy."

"Why? Why did you hit mei mei?" I asked..

He kept quiet .....

"Why? Why did you hit her?" 

Another moment of silence. He looked at me with his guilty and apologetic eyes. But then, what answer was I expecting anyway. "Because I hated her.." or "Because I was naughty.." It then dawned to me that in my anger, I have not been constructive in correcting his mistake. I am asking him questions that I would obviously not get any satisfactory answers....

Without getting an answer to the `Why?" .... I rephrased my questions ....

"Do you know it is painful to hit mei mei ...?"

"Yes....." he replied ...

"Do you want to hit mei mei again?" I asked

"No daddy ...I'm sorry daddy...I am really sorry ..." he answered ...

"Is it right or wrong to hit mei mei then? " I asked ...

"Wrong ...I am sorry." he continued...

With that I gave him a hug and told him that he should be protecting his sister and not hitting her. He is his BIG brother and BIG brother don't hit their sister.

I knew that this is going to happen sooner or later anyway when they played together as they grow up and as long as it accidental and he is constantly reminded that he is the elder brother who has to watch out for his little sister and as long as he continues to demonstrate his love (like he always did), I would take this as part of the excitement, pain and experience of growing up together.

I wonder whether my sisters remembered me whacking them when we were growing up together ....emmmm....

I hope ....I pray ....I wish ....

I finally caught Chenya stood all by herself on the sofa while she was playing there for a full 10 seconds unaided !

This girl is one brave and active gal. She cannot possibly sit still, constantly on the move, crawling everywhere in the house. We have noticed that the moment she catch hold of something, she would immediately attempt to stand up. The other day, I actually caught her trying to climb up the sofa to get to the TV remote control which incidentally is her favorite toy! And, she was so MAD when she could not climb up to get what she wants. This girl really has a temper.

We can't remember Ryan being this active at this age. Ryan is one super charged up boy now and with boundless energy that will tire us out way before his battery runs out. I dread to think how much more active Chenya would be and I dread to think having two super charged up `monsters' at home going at each other.

Already, Chenya is going after his kor kor's toys and pulling his hair and shirt if she can't get what she wants. Fortunately, right now, Ryan is one good brother who have not once hit back. All he does is shouting at the top of his voice "Mommy! Mei Mei is pulling my hair AGAIN! Mei Mei! STOP IT! STOP IT! Ouuucccchhhhhh! MEI MEI!"

Sometimes, it is simply hilarious seeing these two siblings playing and having good fun. It is my deepest hope and prayer that the bond and their love for each other will remain as close, as fun and as innocent as they are now for decades to come.

I have seen so many siblings rivalry in some families. I have seen so many brothers and sisters not talking to each other once they have grown up. I have seen so many siblings not in talking terms due to some form of misunderstanding. My mom's family is one example. (If you have read my post on the demise of my grandmother, you would know).

As we all grow older, our EGO grows even larger. As we all matured and as we got `wiser' ...we tend to over analyse issues, over emphasize our own personal needs and over read situation. We get more sensitive. Our feelings tend to be more vulnerable to being hurt. We tend to make life and relationship more complicated (not that it is not) ....

If only we adopt the childlike innocence that we all possessed once to look at various issues and relationships of which we are in now, and I guess life could be less complicated and very probably much happier ....I am trying ....

Looking at Ryan and Chenya now, I HOPE, yes...I PRAY and I WISH that the bond between them will grow stronger and closer by the day ...and I know as parents, we PLAY a HUGE, HUGE part and responsibility in building that strong foundation for them to start with and to build upon when we are no longer around .....

Here are some cute pictures of our princess captured several days ago while we were having lunch at the Little Wok at Sunway Pyramid...She is one cheeky gal who will never cease to bring a smile after a tiring day in our ever complicated life ....

Getting Ryan ready .....

Ryan will turn 3 this coming 30th May and our little baby girl is now 30 weeks old. We believe that a 3 years gap between the old would be a good age gap between the two. Hopefully, they will get along well and he will love and protect his baby sister once she arrived.

I heard that a year gap between two siblings is not ideal as they tend to fight over things quite a fair bit. I for one is one example as I'm only one year older than my sister and I remembered that we fought like dogs and cats....

Anyway, we are doing everything we can to prepare Ryan for her arrival. Ryan is a rather possessive boy and demands lots of attention. I'm a little worry that he would be jealous and thinks that we don't love him as much when his baby sister arrives. We are quite glad at least Ryan is more receptive of my wife's pregnancy now. Whenever, we asked where is mei mei (sister), he would now point to his mommy's stomach and says, "..in mommy's stomach ...". We are also constantly getting him to rub his mommy's tummy to sayang (love) his sister and getting him to kiss the tummy to kiss his sister. So far, to our relief, he is rather receptive....all fingers crossed now as we prepare for the little one arrival ....

Any other good tips for us from parents who are experienced here ????