When in Rome do what the Romans do!

My first impression of Beijing China was not exactly nice nor charming. Having heard too many horror stories of how obnoxious the Chinese can be and their rather disgusting behavior, I was really apprehensive.

For one, Chinese in China do not seemed to understand the meaning of queuing up for anything. They seemed to be a rather single minded very focused people who only sees their objective and where they want to go and what they want to do, and in the process, are totally ignorant of the people around them or the inconvenience that they could have caused others in their pursuit of their objective.

They don't seemed to understand nor have ever heard of the concept of `first come first serve'. There seemed to be only one concept in China (or places that I have observed so far) and that concept is "Me First and Now!"

Hence, during my first visit, being accustomed to queuing up for anything and everything, I find myself totally frustrated at every turn. At the airport, we have people cutting queues without an iota of guilt. It was even frustrating when it comes to taking a good picture. While I am accustomed to waiting in line for my turn to take a picture from a certain location, I found out too soon that that does not always work. You could end up waiting for hours because there will always be some Chinese who would just sneaked in. And the worst part of it was, they don't leave after having their picture taken, oblivious that there are still others waiting to take a picture. Instead, they would linger on, either having a conversation or comparing their pictures in their camera.

Well, the phrase "When in Rome, do what the Romans do" holds true. On my subsequent visit to the Forbidden City, I told myself that I will not be intimated and I will behave exactly like how a Chinese in China would behaved. Although I would still queue as much as I can, I will do everything I can to ensure that no one would be able to sneak in front of me. As far as taking a pictures is concerned, no more Mr Nice Guy who would wait till the person in front is finished with their pictures. I will just stationed myself where I feel would give me the best angle and I will make sure that I will not move either until I am satisfied that I have captured the angle I wanted.

There were certain occasions when I find some inconsiderate idiots just walking up in front of my camera while I was taking my shot. Instead of being frustrated and gets totally irritated, I find myself coolly picking myself up and walking right in front of them, oblivious that they too are in the midst of taking a picture, and anchored myself for the shot that I have originally intended to take.

I find myself happier, less irritated and suddenly more at home in Beijing as if I am now just one of the crowd. After all, that is what everyone else is doing. I think I am going to do well and fit Beijing before too long.

On the Way! On the Way!

Malaysians are known to be notorious time keepers. Let just said that punctuality is not something we really put any value to and being late or having to wait for someone is almost our second nature.

Nobody expects a wedding dinner to start on time, and because of that nobody will ever try to go to a wedding dinner on time and hence, when will we ever be ready to start a wedding dinner on time. Go figure ....

I for one, hate being late and I really hate waiting for anyone. But unfortunately, living in Malaysia and being a Malaysian, I have to get accustomed to it. Waiting for a client who turned up 30 minutes later with an excuse of `traffic jam' is a norm.

"Sorry..Sorry" he would said..."traffic jam...don't know why ar? So bad today...Normally, would only take me 10 minutes but today also don't know why. 30 minutes also can not move ...Sorry sorry." he would continue ...

And what would be our most common response, being as diplomatic as we can, while we control every urge we have to give him one of the `importance of being punctual' lecture ....."yes ar .....aiyoh..common lor...nowadays traffic is like that lar. Really cannot tell one hor .." with a forced smile ...

The other common expression that we would normally hear when we call someone who is already running 20 minutes on the cell phone ..."On the way...on the way!"

I was sitting in the coffee shop yesterday morning at about 9:30am having my `engine-starting' coffee. In came, a man in his forties with two of his friend. He looks like a contractor judging from his attire. They sat down and he ordered his coffee and was having a gay conversation with his friends. Then his phone rang ....

He picked it up and said "On the way. On the way already." and then puts it down.

Obviously someone on the other end of the line must be chasing him or asking him when he would be arriving. In an unhurried manner, he put down his phone, have another sip of his coffee, folded his legs and lighted a cigarette. He was obviously in no hurry to leave and seemed to be oblivious that someone on the other end of the previous conversation was either already waiting for him or will be waiting for him soon.

By the time I left 15 minutes later, he was still there with his cigarette, his coffee and his mates.

I too have my fair share of friends whom I known for a fact that when they said that they were `on their way' it simply meant that they have just left the house, or are about to leave the house, or worse yet, totally have forgotten the appointment but too ashamed to admit it and will be frantically getting dressed for the appointment.

So, if someone tells you the next time that they are 'on their way'...you can start ordering you next round of coffee or puff the next round of your cigarettes because you can be sure that the 'traffic jam' outside is going to be unexpectedly bad .........

Are we any different? I wondered ....

When I first informed some of my friends about our coming relocation to Beijing, one of the most common response that I have received was "Huh? You sure boh? You can get used to it ar? China wor?"

We have heard much about China. We have heard how China has turned from a rather conservative country into one of the big super powers that she is today, clearly a force to reckon with globally.

When China sneezes, the world stops ....

On the other hand, we have also heard much about the ugly side of China either through word of mouth, rumors, stories and the media. I must said that I have a lot of reservation about relocating there as well. Firstly, because I am a `banana' who could not read nor write Mandarin. My stammering Mandarin will probably be just enough to get myself a sunny side up in the hotel during breakfast. 

We all have heard or viewed the ugly video of how a poor little boy who was knocked down by a lorry and no one apparently stopped to help. I have seen for myself men in China sitting in coffee shops with their T-shirt rolled up exposing their belly, sipping their coffee and having a good time. I have seen for myself, cars and taxis that stopped by the middle of the road, oblivious of other users need to pass, just for their own convenience. I have seen cars cutting into cues without any signals, expecting you to give way. 

There were even stories of how unsafe it can become if you were to walk alone in China. But really, is it?

The question today is are we any different? 

Malaysia now is a proud owner of an equally interesting video of an old lady lying by the road side, hurt with passers by just walking past and not lending a helping hand. If this scene is somewhere in China, we would probably go "What lar this Chinese? No heart one ar? See people hurt like that also don't stop to help?" and another party would probably responded like "Ya lar. What to do? China ma. They are like that one...."

But the scene IS NOT CHINA! It is Penang. Like at the back of our very own courtyard.

And if you think only Chinese in China rolled up their T-shirt and expose their belly in the public, you are dead wrong. I was waiting for my wife to finish her facial in Subang and I was parking in front of a mamak store. Right in front of me was this middle aged man (race not important) with his T-shirt rolled up exposing his ugly belly, having his teh tarik with his friend.

Drivers in China are definitely aggressive but we have our fair share of aggressive drivers and road bullies back home. Just the other day, as I was taking a leisurely drive on Sunday to go out for breakfast, a blue E-class Mercedes driven by a lady driver just zoomed past on the outer lane which was meant to go straight and turned right, cutting right in front of my car because she wanted to beat the traffic light, expecting me to brake (which I had to). And this is in a residential area. If you drive in KL daily, driving any less aggressively in the morning or evening rush will get you no where and ages to get home because no one will give you the right of way. You would have to fight for it. Using the signal light to indicate intention of changing lanes is strongly not advised because this will disclose your intention to other drivers who will close up the gap to prevent you from doing so. Am I guilty of it? Very much so. Guilty as charged! So, then again, are we any different.

We have heard of how unsafe it is to walk the streets in China. I remembered I was told when we were visiting Shenzhen some years back to be extra careful. If we read the news of the crimes that were being committed today in our media, of how women are being assaulted in car parks of shopping complexes, of how little children were being abducted, molested and killed, of the number of innocent deaths due to snatch thieves and car windows being smashed at traffic lights ...the question today again is ....are we any different?

I have always treat our relocation to China as a learning experience and once in a lifetime opportunity albeit with reservation, and the first lesson that I have learnt is never judge another and arrive to a conclusion without first experiencing it yourself and always ask if you are any better.

"Let the one who have no sin, cast the first stone" Christ said.......

Are we any different? I truly wonder ........

Determination and NEVER GIVE IN and NEVER GIVE UP ....

I was reading the "Be Inspired" column today in the Star about how this Indian boy whose father and mother are odd job workers, hardly earned enough to eat and where he and his siblings would often go hungry for days. He had no proper shoes and would wear his totally worn out shoes and walked kilometers to school but with one fierce determination to learn and to succeed. He would improved his English through reading old Star newspapers that his mother picked up to generate additional income. Despite being hungry and wanting in so many departments, he did not give up but strive to study hard, scoring straight As in his PMR and his SPM examination. With a state funded scholarship, his dream of furthering his studies in France has finally came true.

All these brought me to recall two of my childhood classmates, both from the same class since Form 4 and 6 in ACS Ipoh. One from an average family and another from a poorer family living in Jelapang. Both equally determined to excel during our school days but unfortunately both ended rather differently in life.

I met Poh Cheng, a Chinese educated student when we did our Lower Six in ACS Ipoh together. He was well built, evident from his years of practicing Wushu, shy but ever so cheerful with a perpetual smile. We were all in the Bio-Math stream and he was exceptionally good in almost every subject from Chemistry, Physics (which I was totally hopeless at), Biology and Mathematics, all this despite his constant challenge in understanding English since all our reference books then were in English. His biggest fear was "Kertas Am" (General Paper), because this was a Bahasa Malaysia subject where a good grasp of Bahasa Malaysia is almost a must in order to get through.

But he was determined and I remembered him reading and reading and reading, just to improve his grasp of both these languages.

One thing that strikes me the most is that he cycled to school every morning from Jelapang to ACS Ipoh, a journey that would cover more than a few kilometers. He was not one of those richer Ipoh kids who took buses and were chauffeured driven to school. Being a school prefect myself, I honestly do not recall him ever going in late for school.

I remembered one time when we had to prick our own fingers to get blood for one of our biology lab class and my dear friend almost fainted at the sight of blood.

Needless to say, he passed his STPM with flying colours.

Today Dr Liew is my son's pediatrician. He has certainly come a long way. Even when he first started his clinic, I remembered him working very long hours to establish himself. Today, he has a beautiful family, established career, driving a posh 2 door imported car, traveled the world and financially more than stable. He is still as jovial, ever smiling and ever so friendly.

His fierce determination to succeed has found SUCCESS.

Then, there is other friend of mine. Kim Seng was a skinny fella but super talented in art. We both took art in our Form Five SPM and I remembered that we were constantly competing to see who got better grades. Even now, I fondly remembered his superb rendering of the water droplet in water colour on fruits and leaves. Till today, I still could not reproduce the same.

He was from an average family and he too was equally determined to do well and was studious, unlike me who got a little too active `chasing girls' and getting involved in almost every organisation that is to join to get to know the opposite sex. (ahem!). Despite his efforts, we both did not do that well in our STPM. I went on to study at TARC while he went on to resit his STPM.

On his second attempt he passed and got accepted into a university in Singapore. We communicated once during that time. When he was in his second year while I was doing my third in TARC, I received the dreaded news from my Ipoh classmates who were also studying in Singapore. Kim Seng has committed suicide by hanging himself. He left behind a letter for his parents, asking for forgiveness for letting them down.

Till today, I do not know the exact reasons that had drove him to end his young life in such a tragic manner. I am sure that he thought that whatever that he was facing then was insurmountable and he gave in to the stress and he gave up his will to fight on and live ....

Today, Kim Seng remains a memory of a good childhood friend and every time I see a water droplet on an apple or a leaf, I can vividly see his face ....

Therein lies the importance of possessing both of the above, a Strong Determination to Succeed and an equally strong conviction to NEVER GIVE IN and NEVER GIVE UP!

"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." (Sir Winston Churchill in his famous speech to the students at Harrow School in 1941)

Would you help or wouldn't you?

Scenario one month ago....

I was being fetched by my colleague to Kota Damansara from Ara Damansara for an appointment. As we were just about to reach the Seri Selangor Golf club, we saw an Indian man carrying a child and a woman holding a baby in her arms, frantically waving us down. There was a motorbike parked by the roadside.

I was afraid that there was an accident and they needed some emergency help. We both decided to stop some distance away as we have already driven past them at this stage. I ran back to them and asked them what was wrong.

Both the man and woman looked worried, the baby in her arms were almost lifeless and the small boy in the man's arms looked weak and was hanging on to his daddy. Being a daddy myself, my immediate reaction was, what could be wrong with these children. The boy was barely 3 or 4 years old (like Ryan) and the baby girl in her woman's arms was barely a year old (like Chenya), I guessed.

The man told me that the boy has an asthma attack and they needed to get to the clinic as soon as possible but they have NO MONEY!

Now, normally, when I hear this, I would have back tracked immediately but here before my eyes were a couple who seemed to have one very weak boy and the other hardly moved. I asked them how much they needed and they said RM300. I only had RM30 in my wallet that day. If I had RM300 in my wallet, I probably would have given him the RM300 he needed for his sick child. I opened my wallet and took out my only RM30 and gave it to him and told him that that was all I had. I told him to try to get others to assist as well. He was disappointed but thank me nevertheless. I left and went on for my appointment.

In the car, we talked about it and I told my colleague that all my gut feel tells me that he is out to con me but I could not help myself from giving him that RM30 because I was afraid that if it was true and if something happened to the child, I would have not done anything even when I was approached. In my heart, I was just hoping that there is still some truth in this world and that I have genuinely helped, although it was only Rm30 but I have done what I could at that point in time.

I have not given it much thought until last Saturday when I was driving for my appointment at Oasis Ara Damansara. Just as I was about to turn into Oasis, there was this same couple with their child again, only this time, the woman was carrying the baby, who again was sleeping in her arms. They were again running into the middle of the road, frantically trying to flag me down. I drove past, looked at them and pointed my finger at them and went on for my appointment as I was running late.

I felt cheated. Above all, I was disappointed that my hope that this couple was genuine was dashed and crushed. I was kicking myself that against my better judgement, I went ahead to give him the RM30. It was not the amount that bothers me but it was the betrayal that left a very bad taste in my mouth.

When I came out from my appointment, I intentionally drove past the same place and when I could not find them there, I purposely drove around the surrounding roads looking for them, with the intention of telling them off, but they were no where to be found.

Would you have help or wouldn't you?

And if you do come across an Indian man and woman with one or two children on a motorbike looking for help by the roadside, do be cautious.

The start of another Great Learning Experience

We just got back over the weekend from our one week scouting trip at Beijing. It was a tiring yet exciting and eye opening trip for the both of us and it certainly was a great learning experience for us.

For the uninitiated, we will be relocating to Beijing very likely in October this year for at least 2 years. For someone like me (well into my forties and well on the way to fifty) who have grown up with my roots well entrenched here in Malaysia, this is definitely going to be challenging. Of all the countries that I have visited so far, China is one of the country I least favoured. After having been to Kunming for a business golf trip and another one to Shenzhen on a holiday, where I was totally unimpressed, visiting China is clearly not one of the top destination I would consider, let alone living there.

We have been toying with the idea of relocating to another country for quite some time now but have not really work on it. Anyway, of all the countries in the world, China has never even come up in our list of countries we want to stay in. So, when my wife was offered this exciting and challenging role in Beijing, China, it certainly caught us by surprise.

But we took it with good faith, and thanks to some very sound advice from some of our friends who have moved from country to country for work purposes, we braced ourselves for the journey ahead, with an attitude that nothing is impossible and nothing is bad if taken positively and at the end of the day, our stay in Beijing would be another GREAT LEARNING experience for the whole family.

With that, our process to relocate was set in motion with our first visit to this HUGE city.

Well, Beijing is certainly a culture shock to us and, the first few days, I must say was exceptionally difficult for me at least to get used to.

Starting off with the negative, Beijing is definitely a polluted city with a perpetual haze the entire week we were there and talking to the locals confirmed that these happened rather often. Air filters are strongly recommended.

The sight of people sitting by the side of a busy street in the city center with their shirt half rolled up, revealing their belly can be rather shocking. Of course, then there is this local practice of the need to perpetually spit anywhere they find it convenient, which is ANYWHERE. On the humour side, we were visiting a bookstore and they have this little corner when visitors are encouraged to write something about Beijing in six words. This one caught my attention, "You spitted, I dodged, You missed!"

For a banana like me, framing up words to form a sentence to get around is a real challenge, especially since I hardly need to use my very limited vocabulary back here in Malaysia. I think that the two words I am so used to hearing and using during my trip there this round was "什麼?" (What?)

If you think that driving in KL is horrific, wait till you got onto the roads in Beijing. They are all right hand drive which is already something different from us but it is not which side of the road you should be driving that scares you, it is the attitude and the manner of which they drive. Basically, it seemed that everyone has the right of way and everyone is right at some point. So, it is all about how daring and stubborn you are on the road. It is certainly nerve wracking even for a seasoned driver like me.....

And the locals seemed to have this need to gamble. You can literally see people gambling by the road side almost anytime anywhere. While on a apartment scouting trip, I could see a couple of cars, vans or lorries parked by the roadside and a group of four or five people sitting there, playing cards, men and women alike. Simply unbelievable. When I was at Temple of Heaven, a popular tourist site, there was this walkway packed with locals gambling!

The local crowd, both man and woman, young and old, happily gambling away at the Temple of Heaven, Beijing.

The standard of living in Beijing is certainly exorbitant, not only to the locals but all the more so for foreigners like ourselves. Anything imported is unbelievably EXPENSIVE! An advice to those thinking about relocating to Beijing, negotiate and re-negotiate your package.

A decent 2 rooms apartment among the affluent locals or foreigners starts anything from RMB12000 (RM6000!) and a 3 rooms apartment could easily sets you back anything between RMB15000 to RMB22000 (RM7500 to RM11000). Unlike in Malaysia, where your apartment would already comes with full facilities such as the gym and swimming pool, these facilities are normally offered by a privately owned club where membership fees alone sets up back another RM3000 to RM5000 a year.

Our biggest challenge would be stuff related to our children. Sourcing for Pedisure mild powder in Beijing was certainly challenging. Of all the supermarkets and stores we went to, we only found one that have Pedisure and the price for their small can is the price of the big one we are getting here! A box of Kellog cornflakes is close to RM20 and Kraft cheese single pack is RM25!

Children education here is expensive for foreigners unlike the locals. Of the all the pre-schools that we visited, the cheapest and the least impressive is still RMB80,000 (RM40,000) a year or RM3300 a month excluding transportation and lunch. The more decent international ones that we were interested in cost between RMB140,000 to RMB160,000 annually (RM70,000 to RM80,000) or RM5800 to RM6700 a month, and that is only for children between 4 and 5.

But after spending an entire week in Beijing, are there anything positive about staying here? Well, there certainly is.

Beijingers are a friendly lot (if you can understand them or get them to understand you). We have made a number of friends during our week there. 

Although imported stuff are normally expensive (with the exception of beer), there are several very popular online stores that offers good quality stuff at reasonable prices with free delivery, trusted by both the affluent locals and expats alike.

Taxis are easily available and not exactly expensive. Cars are definitely much more affordable here. You don't see many local cars like the Cherry in Beijing. Beijing is packed with VW, BMWs and Mercs. Even Toyotas, Hondas and Nissans are a minority. A brand new 2.4 litre VW Passat Turbo is only around RM140K while a brand new Merc C class apparently cost a little more than RM150K. Fuel however are expensive at RM4 per litre.

Food is not unreasonably expensive and plenty of variety as in KL. The only advice of course is not to be overly adventurous while attempting street side delights.

Being a metropolitan city with an increasing influx of foreigners working and staying in Beijing, the government has done exceptionally well in making sure that the foreigners are well taken care of. There are two special, well equipped clinics set up to cater mostly for foreigners. The SOS clinic for example even have a 24 hour call center that one could call anytime and to ask for anything if assistance is required. For us, that is another one of our top priority need that we have to address, not so much for ourselves but more so, for both Ryan and Chenya when we are there.

Beijing offers a great diversity of attractions from lavish shopping malls offering the best and most expensive there is to historically rich relics and structures that will greatly enhance one's understanding of a proud civilization. 

There are certainly some mega rich citizens in Beijing but majority are still average income earners like ourselves trying to make a decent living.

After one week there, as we got ourselves more familiarized with this new city of which we will soon call HOME, we began to feel more at ease and comfortable dealing with the changes, preparing ourselves for our next trip in August where we would have to decide on the school and hopefully a reasonably priced and decent home.

After all, we are taking this as our NEXT GREAT LEARNING EXPERIENCE that will greatly enhance our knowledge and experience in life and widen our perspective on how we look at other cultures, appreciate them and at the same time, appreciate what we have been having here in Malaysia.

Practicing to eat ALONE!

There are people who can be alone and there are people who just cannot be alone. My wife and I are of the complete opposite and maybe that is why we could compliment each other...The saying "Opposite attracts" seemed to hold so true...I am what she is not and she is what I am not (Thank God!)

From a young age, I have learnt to enjoy being alone. I enjoy the peace and freedom I possessed when I am alone, being able to eat when I eat, where I eat, what I eat, where I go, when I go and do what I do, how I do it and when I do it.

I am so used to having a drink alone and having my meals alone. In fact, there are times that I really enjoy it.

Now, please don't get me wrong. It is not that I don't enjoy the company of my better half. In fact, having her is the best thing that had happened to me. Like the old favourite song in Sound of Music, "Somwhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something GOOD!" But there are times when being alone, allows me to explore things more freely. One example of course, was when I go on a photography trip.

My wife on the other hand is the complete opposite. She is not used to be alone very much. She needs company as much as she could. I guessed the only time she could be left alone and pretty happy at that was when she go on a shopping spree, especially when she goes to those Factory Outlets in US. As far as she could remember, she has never really taken a meal alone. She admitted that if she is alone, she rather not eat. She would not walk down to the cafetaria for example and have her meal if she is alone.

But situation sometimes forces one to start adapting and she is trying....

She will be going to Beijing first to start on her new role and we will be following a couple of months later after I have settled the things that needed to be settled back here in Malaysia. And, while she is there during the first few months, she would have no choice but to EAT ALONE!

It is a terrifying idea to her. And to get herself prepared for that, she ACTUALLY went down from her office in KLCC a couple of days ago and attempted to have lunch ALL BY HERSELF!

And she said that this is probably her second time in her entire life so far! Bravo dear! So proud of you!

And she said that it was a harrowing experience because she said that she felt like a fool, all alone eating her lunch. But she is trying and I am so proud of you.....

The Old leaves and the New begins .....

Every two years, for those with helpers or maids at home helping out with house chores and taking care of the little ones, we have to face the inevitable of our maid completing her full 2 year term and will be leaving. Not only do we suddenly lose a helper, our life routine that has pretty much settled in will get disrupted to a certain extend. To those, who have not manage to get a replacement maid immediately, I would say that the changes can be rather shocking and drastic to say the least.

Our pinay maid is coming home today, one month earlier than her contract date. She has not exactly been an angel and comparing to our previous maid, an Indonesian, this helper is definitely not only smarter but also more daring and lazier.  However, after having said that, she was still manageable. We do still appreciate her for taking care of Ryan and especially Chenya, whom she has taken a special liking. Maybe, it is because she has a daughter of her own back home and she misses her a lot. She is constantly worried of how she is doing and how well she is growing. Then again, which mother would not.

The biggest mistake we made with this maid was our liberty with her in having her handphone. We have been warned by the agency that we should not allow the maid to carry her handphone during the day. We were specifically instructed to take the handphone from her in the morning and only give it back to her at night. But, we were too soft hearted, We thought that by treating her well like our family member, she would put her work and task first before playing with her handphone.

Our problem started when she bought her new handphone. She was constantly on it, at first secretly and later on more blatantly. It gets better if we reprimand her but only for awhile.

So, lesson learnt and learned the hard way. Never never again allow the next maid to carry her own handphone as all pinays apparently have the same issue. They just have too many friends to chat with .....

We are going to welcome our new maid today after dropping the previous one off at the agency. The whole cycle of getting to know her, getting accustom to her, getting her trained, getting her familiarized with us and her tasks, learning to trust her, getting her into her routine starts all over again, not to mention our apprehension of how Ryan and Chenya will take to her. But at least, we have a replacement almost immediately and my mother in law has been very gracious to come stay with us for two weeks to watch over her while we are at work.

As with all our previous maids, we wish her all the best in her life back home and the future. And with all our new maids, we are looking forward to a wonderful and pleasant two years ahead.....

Celebrating our maid's recent birthday in March this year....We made it a point to celebrate all our maid's birthday. We made it a point to make sure that they get their ang pow during Chinese New Year. We made sure that they get a Christmas present when we do our Christmas present exchange under the Christmas tree each year. And the presents are not only coming from us but from my sister, my mother in law and sister in law.....

The cake that we purposely purchased for our helper this year to make sure that her birthday spent with us are memorable ones. She claimed that no one had purchased a birthday cake for her before ....

We are uncertain how much she appreciated all this but deep in our hearts, we just want to be the best employers we could possibly can (despite being human) to her, to be fair to her and to do our utmost to make sure that her stay with us during the years as pleasant as it can be ....

Bon voyage Ranelyn and Welcome Emily ..(another saga unfolds) ....

My legs are for ....

"Daddy ....hold" Ryan asked as I got him ready for school and he wants to be carried into the car .....
"Why? Cannot walk meh?" I responded
"No ...." he answered.
"Why not? You got legs ma ...." I reminded him
"My legs not for walking daddy ...." he replied
"Huh? Then your legs for what?" I said
"My legs are for running and....swimming ...and jumping!" he replied matter of factly
"Why are your legs not for walking?" I queried further
"Because I get tired ...." he replied without hestitation
"....running and jumping not tired meh? " I continued
"No. I got energy to run and jump. Walking staircase also tired ma." he responded
"Your school got stairs also ma " I said
"So, in school, you walk or teacher carry you? " I asked further
"In school, I walk myself." Ryan replied
"Why? Why in school can walk?" was my next question
"In school, walk stairs not tired ma...." he replied convincingly...

(Slap head)

Then he asked me "Daddy, can you jump?"
"Yes ..." I replied
"Can you run?" he asked further
"Yes, of course!" I replied
"Can you walk?" he probed
"Yes, of course!" I replied again

Then wanting to catch him of guard ....I asked ...

"Can you walk?"
"Yesss....errrrrrr....NO! My legs only for running!"

OK. I rest my case.

Taken in Club Med Cherating in February 2012 this year when we had a holiday there. This little guy can certainly jump and run. Walk ....errrrrr.....oh no...his legs were not meant for that ...

My religion forbade me to attend your funeral Mom!

Sorry. I have taken a sabbatical leave from my blog for a couple of months now. Been busy with the normal day life, my eldest son Reuben came back for a 6 weeks holiday and after that I was plain lazy to write.

Well, after much struggle, I gathered that I better get off my butt and start writing again, else, this blog will die a slow but natural death...HAHAHAHA...and the worst part is that I will loss sight of my other blogger daddies, mommies and friends that have come to know me here.....

Picking up from where I left off from my last posting, the demise of my beloved grandmother.

My grandmother has a daughter (my mom) and three sons, all of whom have been living away from home since as long as I can remember. Even when I was a kid, I can only remember the arguments and quarrels that they constantly have when they do get together. Talk about a dysfunctional family. Well, my grandma is not exactly the mild manner mom (as revealed by my mom though I was the apple of her eye) and my late grand dad was a traditional Chinaman who believed strongly that he IS the MAN in the house and has a fiery temper to go with it.

My first uncle was the luckiest of the whole lot. He got to go to Taiwan to pursue his studies and he came back as a Chemical engineer and that was 25 years ago which is a big thing in Malaysia. He was the blue eye boy because he was the MOST educated of the lot. There were big expectations on him and of course, big expectations comes with big ego and following not far behind, is arrogance!

He found a nice job in Singapore and after several years (quite a number if I remembered correctly) finally found someone he loves and got married. His ex who was very close to my grandma was killed in a fire while he was studying in Taiwan. So close was his ex that my grandma has likened her to be her `unofficial' daughter in law and even set up an altar for her in my grandma's house.

Story has it, that my uncle and my auntie was constantly ill and not feeling well everytime they came back to visit my grandparents. After much consultation etc, some medium told them that his ex's spirit was the culprit and was jealous and was hell bend to ruin his life. Needless to say, they were terrified and hence forth made a decision not to return for a visit anymore. That was like over 15 years ago!

Forward the timeline to 5 years ago, I heard that both my uncle and my auntie are now Christians and are very actively involved in church work. He has since retired. Despite my grandma's gradual health deterioration, both has not made an attempt to return for a visit.

The last straw came when my grandma passed away. As the eldest son, we are duty bound to inform him and to make arrangements with him to return to sent my grandma off for the very last time. And surprise surprise, they have out rightly refused to return, sighting reasons of fear and their church `apparently' advise them so. My mother was devastated when he instructed her NOT even to include their names into any documentations as their RELIGION forbade them to do so.

I might not be the most religious person now but I do know that one of the Ten Commandments is "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

So, tell me, which religion in this world actually forbids a child to pay their last respect to their departed parent.

Several months have passed now after my grandma's demise. The frustration and anger in me has somewhat mellowed yet I have not fully come to comprehend nor accept the `reasons' of a son not willing to return for one last time ......:(

VIP my foot!

We have to bring Chenya to the Damansara Specialist Centre yesterday morning for her pneumococcal and rotavirus vaccination. We went as early as we possibly can to avoid the morning traffic jam and arrived there at 10am. We registered and our number was 20 and the counter showed 10! We braised ourselves for a relatively long wait. Seeing Dr Musa is always tough but worth it because he is good with the kids. We went for our breakfast at the cafeteria. When we came back an hour later, the number has just moved to 12 and the doctor was not in his clinic anymore! We were informed that he was out attending to some VIP who had came in. He was finally back 30 minutes later and he was busy catching up with all the patients who have been waiting since 10am. I really pity him and his staff as they were working through lunch hour. Chenya finally had her vacinations at 1:30pm. We were there for 3.5 hours for a 15 min appointment just because there was this apparent VIP who took up over an hour!

My question is why do VIP gets special treatment? Who was this VIP? Why are they considered as VIP? Are they considered as VIP just because they are ministers who carry a title? Are they some rich tycoons who have billions in their bank account that I don't have?

I can understand that head of states are given right of passage on our roads for security reasons but when it comes to seeking treatment in the hospital especially here when we are talking of a paed services, does it meant that a VIP's child's life is more valuable and important than a non VIP like myself?

If they are VIP because they hold a government ministerial position, then let's us not forget that they are there because we voted them there and hence shouldn't we be considered more important than them? Shouldn't they be made to make appointments and be made to wait just like everybody else?

If they are tycoons and billionaires and hence they are given VIP treatment, is it because they are paying a premium rate for the services of the hospital that we, a commoner could not afford? Knowing my country, I sincerely doubt so.

So, back to my unanswered question..... Who are VIPs and why should they be given preferential treatment?

For now, I just glad that the waiting episode was over but her next appointment is one month down the road. Just hope that some bloody VIP's children don't choose to be sick on the same day.

Rare Public Display of Raw Emotion

"YOU FXXKING ASSHOLE!!" a woman's voice screamed!

"...YOU FXXKING SHUT UP! JUST FXXKING SHUT THE FXXK UP!!" a man's voice was heard yelling back!

"NO! YOU FXXKING SHUT UP!" the woman retorted...

"..AND YOU ARE FXXKING STUPID!" the man continued ...

Suddenly everyone at the busy Bangsar Village was silent and many were seen rushing out from shops to see what the commotion was. We were on the escalator going up to the other floor and was taken aback with the sudden outburst. Ryan was more dramatic. He frowned and started to look for the source of the commotion. At the same time, he being curious as he is, asked "What noise ?? What noise??"

The noise came from a couple shouting at each other. The woman was relentless and the man began to shout back while still holding his young daughter. After a few more outbursts, the little girl began to cry....

Our hearts go out for innocent little girl who must have been totally frightened over the whole incident and probably have no idea to the outburst ...

What could have trigger this very rare public display of raw emotion? Could it have been bottled emotions, anger, discontentment that has finally erupted like a volcano in all her unstoppable fury? Or could it be their normal display of frank emotion without restraint that will lead to an equally wild and unrestrained making up ????

I believe every couple have their bad days. We have our share of disagreements, different opinions, argument and discontentment with each other ...but we have not so far once, went to raising our voice towards each other, let alone in front of Ryan.

What were they thinking of.? Of could be bottled up anger that could no longer be contained? I wonder ....but the real innocent victim would have to be the little girl...

Have you ever argue or fought in front of your children? How do you deal with arguments with your spouse?

An Evening with Zainal Abidin

Date : 13th Oct 2010

We have always passed by the Dewan Filharmonik Petronas at KLCC without bothering to find out what they are playing. The thought of going for a concert has actually NEVER occurs to us (and we were paying USD just to watch Broadway shows in New York!).

Then a good friend bought us a ticket last Sunday for the afternoon show. The classic Psycho movie accompanied life by Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra (MPO). We went with much anticipation because going to an orchestra performance is like so...emmm...formal and cultured...hahaha... We were worried whether we were dressed right etc etc etc.

Well...I have seen the show a dozen times before ..but...to literally see, listen and feel the drama, suspense and passion from a life orchestra right before your eyes is another experience all together ....Needless to say, both of us were hooked and we booked ourselves the next show ...a night with one of my favourite local singer..Zainal Abidin ...


It started with a sand art presentation by one of our local sand artist, Loong Bee. It was quite an experience seeing him creating beautiful displays by simply using sand and a pair of very skillful hands.

We got ourselves a box seat nearest to the stage. And the moment finally arrived, he walked in in all his charisma...the man himself ...Zainal Abidin.... He went straight into belting out a medley of old malay folk songs accompanied by the MPO led by conductor Kevin Field. Songs like Chan Mali Chan, Burung Kakak Tua, Enjit Enjit Semut and Kenek Kenek Lah Udang never sounded so beautiful, sung with vocals so strong and powerful, backed by instruments so majestic ...

It was just 30 minutes with the man ...and...when he sang Ikhlas Tapi Jauh, he brought the house down! (The tune is still playing in my head ...). His parting song, Hijau was one of my all time favourite, singing out the need for us to go green and the preserve our mother nature was just simply breath taking ...

We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. And for the very first time in our lives, we actually queued to get the souvenir program booklet autographed by him ...and to grab a quick picture of course ...(it was an anxious moment though, cause my DSLR was giving me a memory card error the moment I switched it on!!!)

It was a wonderful night, all the more so because I have my wonderful half with me to share it. To cap it all, we went for a nice Japanese dinner at Zipangu Shangrila. (And all this time, where was Ryan you might ask ....at home with our maid while daddy and mommy are enjoying themselves ...hahaha..)

And you know what, we have booked the next show tomorrow night. Another favourite of mine, a hands percussion presentation by MPO.....Just can't Wait !!!

Rice Cooker Chicken Drumstick ....

Wife was exceptionally busy this week, organising a big event for her company. So, I'm left with my little monster at home together with the maid. I was lazy to go out for dinner because firstly, I really don't know what to eat (and I'm sick of eating noodles for dinner since I have been having that for most lunches) and I had enough of Ryan not wanting to sit still and insisting of getting down and running all over the restaurant. There is really no peace in eating that way.

Instead, I've decided to cook something real simple and quick at home. Someone in a restaurant taught me and I think it's probably the simplest and fastest way to cook a chicken dish.

I bought two chicken drumstick, strip off the skin and cut into smaller pieces. Marinate them with soy sauce, salt, pepper, sugar, oyster sauce, ginger slices, garlic slices and plenty of chinese wine. Leave them alone for 15 to 20 minutes. Put them into a rice cooker and cook for 15 minutes. And they are done.

So for dinner last night, it was a simple meal of soy sauce chicken drumstick cooked with my rice cooker and baby spinach soup. Not only (I think) was it a better meal as compared to eating hokkien mee outside, at least I can eat more peacefully at home, not having to stress over Ryan running all over the place.

Toys! Toys! Toys!

Who said that times are bad? Who said that people would only spent on absolute necessities?

We certainly don't think so after visiting the Mattel toy warehouse sale held recently at the Atria Shopping Center.

I was informed by a friend of this fair 2 days in advance and it was also advertised in the newspapers. Since Ryan is a fan of cars and planes and since Mattel do carry Hotwheels and Matchbox models, we have decided to have a look 2 Saturdays ago.

It was supposed to be the very first day and the warehouse would start from 10 am to 10 pm. So, when the Saturday arrived, we woke up leisurely and after getting Ryan ready, off we went to Atria. I thought we were early. It was barely 10 am. I figured we could have a good breakfast at Seri Penang before heading up to the warehouse sale held on the 1st floor.

When we reached Atria, we could not find an empty spot on the ground or the 1st level car park, which is highly unusual at 10 am on a Saturday. With no other choice, we drove up the open car park on the highest level and found ourselves a empty slot. As we were making our way down, we saw parents carrying bags after bags of ....TOYS!!!! (and it was only 10:30 am)....

I told my wife that we better head on to the toy fair first before having our breakfast. I was shocked when I reached the entrance. The entire floor was packed!!!! There were empty boxes everywhere and there were also parents hanging on to boxes filled with toys and they were still grabbing for more! I could hardly get near to see what is on offer. It was like a big mad house!!! My `kiasu' gremlin got the better of me that very second. With one hand hanging on to Ryan, I squeezed myself in between some grumbling mothers, fought my way past some frowning fathers, and grab whatever Hotwheels or Matchboxes that I could laid my hands on. There were no price tags. I asked and nobody seemed to know the actual price and by the way everybody is buying, nobody seemed to care.

While I was busy scanning for more toy cars, my wife was on a mission of her own, squeezing in between humid bodies grabbing whatever she thinks will be a good buy (with absolutely no idea of the price ... go figure). After 30 minutes, I had enough. We have managed to grab about 15 items in a small little box, a pale comparison to many who have theirs in two or three large cardboard boxes.

I signalled my wife that we should pay and get out as Ryan is starting to get rather impatient, not to mention me. When we got to the payment line, another shock awaits us. 5 long queues, all waiting to pay. It was another 25 minutes or so before I finally got to pay for my stuff. Were they cheap? I have no idea. I spent over RM300 on toys that morning. But judging from the boxes others are pushing along with their feet, it's merely kacang puteh (peanuts) to Mattel.

As I was about to make way out, I remarked to the cashier that it was quite shocking, looking at the crowd at 11:30 am on the first day of the sale. She looked hardly surprised and calmly told me that people were already lining up waiting for the warehouse sale to start as early as 8:30 a.m!!!!

We walked off, leaving behind scores of parents still waiting for new boxes and bargains to be offered and long queues of parents still waiting to make payment for the toys they thought were a real bargain. As we walked past parents just arriving with their children, I said a silent prayer and wishing them good luck, all the best and happy squeezing and shopping.

Getting Patriotic

Date : 30th August 2010

We received an email that Ryan's daycare will be having a mini merdeka celebration for the children and they are requested to dress in traditional costume to go to school as part of the celebration.

An quick sms to the principal confirmed it and was requested to dress him in Chinese tradtional costume. So, we took the opportunity during the weekend to shop for suitable piece for him in Sunway Pyramid. After walking around several shops, we still could not find a suitable Chinese traditional costume for him (besides being extremely expensive).

Then, remembering that we are so near to Hari Raya, there would be plenty of traditional costume on sale. So, we decided to get him a Malay costume instead. We got a few pieces for him to try on and finally, he chose a green one complete with a sarong. We had wanted to get him a songkok as well. Unfortunately, the songkok was a bit too large for him and, coming with a price tag of Rm25, we finally opted against it.

Honestly, I think we had more fun shopping and getting him to wear the costume than him and quick frankly, I think that he looks pretty good in it too ...don't you think?

3rd Wedding Anniversary

9th June 2010

This is a belated post since I was pretty caught up with work and uploading Ryan's 2nd year birthday celebration.

We celebrated our third wedding anniversary recently. Time flies and with the blinking of an eye, we have been `officially' together for 3 years. These three years have been interesting, exciting and fulfilling. While we have only to think for ourselves when we have not started a family, the last three years have seen our priorities in life changes once we tied the knot. Just as the theme we have selected for our wedding, our marriage is truly `A Journey', and it is the journey that we must learnt to enjoy and treasure....

To celebrate this year, we made reservation to have lunch at Shangrila Kl Laffite, a place that we truly enjoy, both the food, the service as well as the ambience. I've got them to arrange a dozen white roses which is her favourite and they arranged a very nice hand bouquet at a very reasonable price.

As we embark on our 4th year together (with lil Ryan), I'm sure the journey ahead is going to be equally exciting, challenging and enjoyable...

Dial 1 for .... Dial 2 for ....

I have the best laugh today....
My wife was planning to redeem a gift from Citibank from the points she has accumulated but unfortunately, she can't find the item in the web site when she logged in today....

Not being one to let go easily, she tried to call the Citibank hot line to clarify, but only to find herself listening to a voice machine for over 2 minutes and having to quote her credit number twice. And after all the hassle, she just could not figure out how she could actually talk to a REAL person. Patience is obviously not one of her virtue, she was cursing and frowning after not being able to voice her dissatisfaction to a REAL person after being on the phone for over 25 minutes.

Not one who would easily give up, she wanted to give her FEED BACK! So, she logged into her Citibank website and was busy for the next 20 minutes typing her long and well positioned complaint. After rereading it for the umpteen times and satisfied that she has expressed herself, she was ready to submit the complaint..and guess what when she clicked on the submit button???

An error message flashed across her screen and informed her that the page was unsecured. Fuming, she re logged in and retyped her entire complaint, (as close as she could get to her first message). I was almost rolling on the floor, laughing at her at this point in time. Satisfied that she has got her message well written and positioned, she was determined to express her dissatisfaction to the higher management of Citibank. And she clicked on the submit button !!!

And the wonder of new technological break through ...

An error message flashed across the screen and kicked her out from the web site...!! And this was after more then 40 minutes trying to submit a feedback ...

After wasting more than 50 minutes of our life, we are back to square one. The machines have taken over!!! The end is near!!!! Next, we might have a Terminator at our doorstep....

The Youngest Windows 7 supporter

Was in Sunway Pyramid shopping recently and saw this backdrop. Couldn't help but to get both mommy and son to pose for this picture. He gave a big Flying Kiss and thumbs up for Windows 7. I guess I should sent this picture to Bill and see whether we could get some advertising or modelling fees. Ryan is probably his youngest Windows 7 supporter!!!!

Saliva Show!

We caught him playing with his saliva one day while watching TV. He was comfortably sitting in his high back chair watching his favourite cartoon. The more we laughed at him, the happier he became and the greater the saliva show.

He is really an attention seeker and is most happy when all eyes are on him.