Friday, September 2, 2011

Confinement lady - A nightmare from Hell (Part 4)

Continuation from Part III

When we engaged confinement ladies, we expect them to be a knowledgeable professional with years of experience handling new born and mommies who have just delivered. But seriously, how many of them are really that knowledgeable and is the knowledge that the claimed to have proven or are they just so mid wife's tale......

We have bought a whole new range of Chico BPA free baby bottles for Chenya before her arrival and of course we were excited to pass them to the confinement lady to feed baby Chenya when she arrived.

Barely 2 days into job, Mdm L complained that the nipple holes were way too small and baby Chenya were having a tough time feeding. She insisted that we get her nipples with bigger holes. We went hunting but Chico outlets are difficult to find unless you are prepared to go to shopping complexes that I really don't have the time. Hence, we opted for Avent 4 month old nipples as an alternative. Mdm L seemed to be happier with it but complained constantly that baby Chenya is vomiting milk after feeding. She claimed that Chenya's stomach is `too shallow' and hence can't take that much. She insisted that 2.5 oz is sufficient.

When Mdm L left, it was our turn to take care of Chenya and to feed her. No doubt, the Avent 4 month nipple works wonders and Chenya did finished the milk in no time but we realised that she was not sucking but literally `drinking' since the flow was too fast. At times, we noticed that she literally had to stop to rest because she was just too tired. And we noticed that she vomit quite a fair bit after each feeding. The moment we changed the nipple back to the original one meant for new born, she vomited less and seemed to be enjoying her milk more. Of course the time taken to feed her is much longer as she now has to suck for milk.

Why did Mdm L insisted on a faster flow nipple? Because it is much faster to feed and get it done with. Once we switched to the original nipple, we are able to give Chenya 3 to 3.5 oz per feed without much problem and less vomiting. `Shallow stomach' theory? We dare not even mention this to our paed when we brought Chenya for her regular check up.

So, are all advice given by confinement ladies sound? You will have to be the judge to that.

Another thing we find that confinement ladies would always insist. Firstly, they would insist that we give the baby the pacifier whenever they cried. Honestly, we are seriously against it because we are afraid that the children will be so used to it that it becomes difficult for the baby to rid the habit later. We were adamant that Ryan would not have to use it with our first confinement lady and we shot down the idea the moment Mdm L brought up the subject. Why? Because the pacifier is obviously an easy way to pacify the baby. The problem is after they left and we have to deal with a baby addicted to the pacifier....

The second thing that we have seen confinement ladies likely to suggest was to allow the baby to sleep on the bouncer (sarung). We are again seriously against this idea because we really do not wish to have a baby that can only sleep in a bouncer and not the baby cot. Can you imagine travelling with a bouncer because your baby just can't sleep on a normal bed? The moment Mdm L brought up the subject, we shot it down and she was not at all happy about it.

The question that I tend to ask after this experience is that are confinement ladies really that knowledgeable and will do what is best for the baby or do they recommend methods that will best suit them for the next 28 days?

Well, so much for the confinement lady. We were truly glad that the confinement period is finally over and we could resume our normal life without the intrusion of a stranger in our home....

Would I consider a confinement lady if we should have another baby (not that we are going to since are are pretty sure that we have enough)? I certainly don't think so. In fact I think I could be a better `confinement lady' after going through two confinement ladies (and one from hell).....

And one last thing....she actually opened and counted her `ang pow' the moment we gave her in front of us!!! The ang pow although has become customary to give at end of her service is but a token of appreciation.....but Mdm L has obviously been led to believe that that form part of her charges and I am absolutely certain that she would question us and ask for more if we have given her something below her expectations...

Confinement ladies are certainly not cheap and they behave as if they are queens the moment the come on board.....

9 comments:

reanaclaire said...

What you mentioned about the confinement lady nightmare reminded me of my colleague's case too! She really had a phobia about them after the real nightmare of her first born! She ended up being scolded by the lady each day cos my friend is very "soft" side, i can say the lady bullied her so much so that she was driven to tears...
This Confinement lady left even before the 28 days were up... reason was.. another case came up unexpected. She had to leave hurriedly because of another baby's early arrival! So my colleague wanted to cut her salary.. this created an uproar! And before she left, she also looked into the red packet left on the table, seeing not enough, she just grabbed the cash left on the table and ran out of the house with her bags in tow. My colleague and her husband were astounded... both were a soft spoken couple..
Gosh.. my colleague lost so much weight during confinement.. she said this one really scared her out of her wits!

Daddy said...

OMG!!!!! This is even worse compared to what we are facing but we are not softy type..so, we made pretty sure when we said NO....

Linda said...

I just cannot live without a pacifier... it is surely a magic tool to calm the baby down. Imagine during an outing or eating out in a restaurant.. and the baby fuss... baby has been properly feed, clean diaper, etc.. I have to make sure I have pacifier in hand with me all the time...
My no.1 wean off pacifier around 2 years, and my no.2 around 3 years..

I actually like the idea of rocking baby to sleep... it's very old style way. But I never tried it. I used to wear and rock my no.2 to sleep every night, using a sling... the feeling of the closeness is priceless. Too bad I can only do that before no.2 gets too heavy...

But of course... every baby is different. Some baby just didn't like pacifier... and as parents, we have the right with our own preferences.

Alice said...

pacifier can disrupt breast feeding logically, but alot of nannies use that. come on, nanny/babysitter always want the fastest and easier way because they are not the parents. my babysitter insist on using sarung for my 1 1/2 years daugher, ci sin but luckily my daughter rejected sarung lau. she prefer to sleep on the mattress. I don't wn to change nanny again because she is the 3rd nanny, and she's highly experience ma.
cradle/sarung is too difficult if you wn to travel lo.....you may want to choose the bouncer, rectangular type to put on the floor, can slightly rock the baby but not overdo it. In the case, her head also can be slightly higher to prevent puke milk case that go into her nose. The so call bouncer can purchase from Giant, but buy bigger one yeah. Just my 2 cents.
At night, just let her sleep at the baby cot.

Baby Darren said...

I went through a hard time with my confinement lady too. After she left, I felt so bad for the baby that I felt she was not 'properly" cared for during her first month and tried to compensate her by doing everything for her from 2nd months onwards. Feel so "sum tong" for passing the baby to such a "selfish" confinement who only thinks for her own good and not for the baby sake.

But everything is over now and I wish Baby Chenya will grow up happy and healty under your own care.

chinnee said...

eee....open up the red packet in public???? my goodness, where is her manners?

LittleLamb said...

If I were u, pls publish her name and phone number here. At least, u can do ur past to warn others about this CL and hopeflly nobody will use her service again.

CathJ said...

Speechless again... I feel so sorry to all parent who gone thru this.. really2 a nightmare... I am so angry to read about it too.. THE QUEEN.. ha! gerammm...

I am so sorry for the next mom who they will take care.. I hope this CL will meet a 'LION lady'... ha padan muka...

Yee Ling said...

Thank goodness everything has ended and you and your family can resume back to normal routine without her presence.

I didnt have CL when I have my first one. The second one, we had a CL. It was recommended by a friend of mine and thank goodness she is good. Guess how old is she? 70 plus!LOL!! And you know what, she is also from Pudu Raya and start we also adressed her madam L too...LOL!!

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