Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Before you say "YES DARLING..."

None meant to be prejudicial but when women look at extremely cute, lovely and cuddly babies, they have this tendency to turn to the other half, namely the husbands and pop this question, "Dear/Darling/Low Kong, let's have one/one more lor?"

And my dear male counterparts, I would strongly suggest that you consider the following before you say "Yes darling ...." and start your production process.....

For one, babies are always cute and lovely and cuddly when they don't belong to you. They always seemed to be so cheeky and their smile oh so adorable, their cheeks so chubby that you just could not resist but to give it yet another pinch (and if you are one of those that actually does this, please don't, because in all your excitement and `geramness', your pinch can actually be rather painful for that poor little baby who probably has endured `n' amount of pinches before yours. So, please do not add to their poor agony).

And when they sleep, they look like angels from above, calm and serene, a perfect display of innocence and tranquility .....

Well, I hate to burst your bubble people, but that is just the perks of being a proud father. There is the DARK side as well.....

Unless, you are going to be one of those daddies that believe that nurturing, feeding, bathing and taking care of babies is the duty of the `yellow face woman' (old Cantonese slang for our current Home Minister/wife), you better be prepared for THE biggest upset and change of your happy go lucky life style.

If your Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays were spent at your common drinking holes with your so called drinking `kakies' (buddies), I would suggest that you start stocking up your beer at home because, the only drinking hole that you would be at, would be home for quite a while.

If your Saturdays or Sundays were spent teeing off at one of those exclusive golf courses, followed by lunch and downing more cold cold beer with your golfing buddies, I would suggest that you buy back a putting practice set and start sharpening your putting skills because that would probably be the only time you can lay your hands on a golf club.

Why? Because bringing up a baby is a FULL TIME job! There is no BREAK! There is no HOLIDAY! It is a 24x7 responsibility. And it is not just the mommy's job and duty. It is ours too. If you want to be part of his/her growing up, then be prepared to prepare the bottles, learn to change nappies and diapers, carrying her to sleep in your arms, give her a bath and feed her.

Parenthood is not all fun. Be prepared for sleepless nights when they are not feeling well and are running a fever. Be prepared to wake up countless times to take their temperature and soak them down. And still drag yourself to work like a zombie the next morning and probably face your boss who could not care less.

Be prepared to give up your favourite sports channel and perpetually watch reruns of Disney Club House, Handy Manny and Bananas in Pyjamas.

Forget about going to the cinema to watch your blockbusters. Buy a DVD home and watch at home instead (if you can get to watch the TV in the first place) and oh yes, forget about blasting it and enjoy that expensive sense around sound system that you have proudly invested in. You could wake up the kids and you would not want to do that, believe me, once they have slept!

Yupe. Those are just some of the changes and upsets that these little angels will bring.

These are the issues that you would not have to deal with when you are cuddling and playing with someone else baby.

But, if you are prepared to face the onslaught of the changes in your lifestyle, then be prepared to be rewarded with the BEST thing that a man could experience .....

Be prepared to watch in excitement, the first time she imitates your facial expressions, the first time she turns over, the first time she crawl (backwards to start with), the first time she stood up wobbling, the first few steps she took, the first word that she utters (and you will be arguing feverishly with your wife that it is Daddy!) and her first teeth to name a few....

Be prepared to enjoy the warmth of her fragile body resting against your chest, hear her snooze, breath and inhale her sweet baby sense and feel her little tiny finger tightly grabbing yours.

Be prepared to see her smiling cheekily at you when she wakes you up bright and early on a Sunday morning, and her head nudging against yours to get you to get up to bring her for a walk at the park ....

This, my friend, is fatherhood.

I regretted that I did not participate in the growing up of my first two children in my first marriage that broke up. I was too busy (or so I thought) to stop and watch.

God was gracious to give me a second chance, a second chance to understand, learn and to enjoy what fatherhood and parenting is all about.

This much I have learnt so far ....parenthood is about losing a part of your old self, giving it voluntarily and in so doing, built a small part of yourself, hopefully, the best part, into the lives of the one you and your partner has brought into the world in love, the one who gives you another new HOPE and PURPOSE in life ......

Happy Fathers Day to all and looking forward to many more to come .....

Here is a tribute to my own dad whom I do not have the opportunity to know deeply. He passed away in an accident while travelling back for vacation from an oversea job posting. I only know him to be a strict disciplinarian who drinks a fair bit. But I know that he loved me and did all he could do to make sure that we all have a good (if not the best life) that he could afford. Interestingly, the best time we had together as family was when we were the poorest but enjoying the simplest thing in life .....Happy Fathers Day, Dad!

Me and my parents....

7 comments:

eugene said...

Hey, you know what? I love telling my friends,If I had met my wife earlier in my life,I would marry her early and have at least 4 children,,,,i agree parenthood is no fun but the process of going through it,the joy,the angst, the frustration, the scaring part,the emergency, the midnight hospital rush and the "kua lan"ness of our childre,,,,,,in the end there are just"sweet dreams are made of this"

And like your going down the aisle song,,"if we hold on together, our dreams will come through"

So are you ready for another one bro? One night in Beijing and made it there too

MeRy said...

Nice post....

Merryn said...

It's not all fun but I wouldn't trade parenthood for any other thing in the world. It's a blessing I am blessed with a child, I can't imagine life without him :)

reanaclaire said...

Happy Father's Day to you... you are such a doting father and of course a loving husband too!

CathJ said...

I respect you for having that responsibility by saying its not the wife responsibility only but the dad's too.. Oh how i wish my hubby have that full commitment too.. Haha.. U knw what i mean.. He tried.. But he just can't survive with the kids without me..

Andrew and Ice said...

A very nice post. Parenting is a never ending journey after all. Happy father's day!

yvonne said...

Happy Father's Day to you. I enjoy reading this entry and parenthood ain't easy at all~

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