His first trip to CHINA!

"I missed the children so much. Depressed...This is not working out..." my wife messaged me on skype...

...and that is only the 2nd day she was in Beijing alone. She still have at least two full months before the entire family can join her...

"OK..that's it" I told myself. 

"Since next week is Raya holidays, we will be coming to see you..ok?"

So, I got Ryan's China visa done, got our tickets and packed our bags for one week in Beijing. For Ryan, this would be longest flight ....6 hours. I have apprehension as to how he would cope with the hours but then, it would be a good preparation for his September's trip with us to Seattle which will take over 20 hours....

When I told him that he was going to China, he was over the moon and started telling teachers, friends, classmates and everybody he met that he is going to CHINA!

I told him that he cannot speak Mandarin and that he can't go. He said he will learn and ask his grandmother what "Eating Rice" is in Mandarin. Grandma said "吃饭". He repeated it and then proudly proclaimed "I can go CHINA already! I know how to speak 吃饭!"

He was so excited about the trip that he even offered to help to pack his own clothes and bag. On the way to the airport, he was talking non stop, telling the taxi driver about his going to China and to see his mommy. At the airport, he even helped to pull our hand held luggage, and stopped every now and then and asked for his picture to be taken...vain!

Waiting for boarding at the Premier Lounge .....

We took MAS and we managed to secure a window and aisle seat all to ourselves. By the time, he board the plane, he was totally exhausted and fell asleep even before the plane took off !!! He slept the entire 6 hours on my lap and only got up when we were about to land. 

So, the journey was much much much simpler than I anticipated and I guess he is ready for the long flight to US now.....

More on his visit to CHINA in the following post .....

On the Way! On the Way!

Malaysians are known to be notorious time keepers. Let just said that punctuality is not something we really put any value to and being late or having to wait for someone is almost our second nature.

Nobody expects a wedding dinner to start on time, and because of that nobody will ever try to go to a wedding dinner on time and hence, when will we ever be ready to start a wedding dinner on time. Go figure ....

I for one, hate being late and I really hate waiting for anyone. But unfortunately, living in Malaysia and being a Malaysian, I have to get accustomed to it. Waiting for a client who turned up 30 minutes later with an excuse of `traffic jam' is a norm.

"Sorry..Sorry" he would said..."traffic jam...don't know why ar? So bad today...Normally, would only take me 10 minutes but today also don't know why. 30 minutes also can not move ...Sorry sorry." he would continue ...

And what would be our most common response, being as diplomatic as we can, while we control every urge we have to give him one of the `importance of being punctual' lecture ....."yes ar .....aiyoh..common lor...nowadays traffic is like that lar. Really cannot tell one hor .." with a forced smile ...

The other common expression that we would normally hear when we call someone who is already running 20 minutes on the cell phone ..."On the way...on the way!"

I was sitting in the coffee shop yesterday morning at about 9:30am having my `engine-starting' coffee. In came, a man in his forties with two of his friend. He looks like a contractor judging from his attire. They sat down and he ordered his coffee and was having a gay conversation with his friends. Then his phone rang ....

He picked it up and said "On the way. On the way already." and then puts it down.

Obviously someone on the other end of the line must be chasing him or asking him when he would be arriving. In an unhurried manner, he put down his phone, have another sip of his coffee, folded his legs and lighted a cigarette. He was obviously in no hurry to leave and seemed to be oblivious that someone on the other end of the previous conversation was either already waiting for him or will be waiting for him soon.

By the time I left 15 minutes later, he was still there with his cigarette, his coffee and his mates.

I too have my fair share of friends whom I known for a fact that when they said that they were `on their way' it simply meant that they have just left the house, or are about to leave the house, or worse yet, totally have forgotten the appointment but too ashamed to admit it and will be frantically getting dressed for the appointment.

So, if someone tells you the next time that they are 'on their way'...you can start ordering you next round of coffee or puff the next round of your cigarettes because you can be sure that the 'traffic jam' outside is going to be unexpectedly bad .........

He gets better and better ....

Yesterday I woke up with a nasty sore throat, a body that seemed to be wanting to fall apart and a perpetual pounding in my head.

So, when I was driving Ryan to Bangsar Village for his normal music class, I was not very much in the mood to talk. He was asking if he could stay back after the afternoon music class and played a while at Borders bookstore which he normally would. I told him that he can't.....

Ryan: Why cannot daddy?
Daddy: Because daddy is not feeling well...daddy wants to go back and sleep.
Ryan: Daddy not sick? Not feeling? (showing his very very concerned face)
Daddy: Yes. We go another time ok..?
Ryan : Ok....
Ryan : Daddy....you must go and see doctor and stay in the hospital for a few days if you are sick.
Daddy: Huh?
Ryan : Yes. You must go and see doctor. Before you go you must put in the Ultraman DVD into the TV so that kakak can just pressed and start before you go. OK? Daddy? Promise? Promise you go and see doctor and stay in hospital?

So, what do you think I am promising to?
Promising to go and see the doctor because I am sick? Is that what the promise was all about? Or promising to a not-so-hidden agenda of his?

The cheeky lad of mine is getting better and better in negotiating what he actually wants. He just might have a brilliant career as a politician and I then can retire to rear cows and live in a luxurious condo in Bangsar .......:)

It gets younger ....

I had my first handphone when I was 30 years old. That too, was because I switched my career from being a table bound internal auditor to the front line sales and marketing in software. I still remember that antique now. It was a Panasonic with bad reception and an antenna that you have to pull out in order to get any reception at all.

My Chenya is already playing with her mommy smart phone before she turned one. She even knows how to use her little finger and flip the screen just like her mommy.

And the best part was, when we said "Hello Hello", she would put the phone to her ears and pretend to have a conversation.

No Directions! No User Manual!

I was reading a blog of a blogger mummy who was questioning what is the right parenting and what is wrong parenting. 

Being a parent myself, I have received countless advice on what is right and what should be done from so many `so called' experts or `experienced' parents. I know many of them meant good but many of their advice seemed to contradict each other if you analyse them deeply. So, which should I follow? If I am not doing what they claimed is the `right' thing to do, does that mean I have not been a good parent. Does that mean that my child will grow up any less smarter, less intellectual, less complete and worst, emotional scared. The responsibility sometimes is just too heavy to bear...

I do not really know whether I have been a good parent. All I know is that I am doing my very best to the best of my understanding and with lots of love.

I personally do not believe in laying my hands on them anymore. But trust me, in my younger days, Reuben, my eldest son from my previous marriage had felt my wrath in full. I felt that talking to them nowadays would be a better idea but trust me, there are many times when Ryan would test my patience to the limit and there were times when I almost cross that edge .... Children seemed to have that tendency to test our limits don't they ...

But I like what this Canadian mother said about parenthood, when we happened to sit next to each other during one of our breakfast in this American diner in San Francisco during our recent holiday.

She said, parenting is like purchasing a product and when the box arrived, surprised! There is no directions as to how to use the product! There is No User Manual! You got to figure how best to use it as you go along.

How true. I really believe that there is no hard and fast rules on what good or right parenting is. There is no pre-set rules as every child has his or her personality, natural talents and virtues. What is important for us as parent is to learn to understand that, recognize that and do all we can in love to nurture them into all they can be as they grow up. Will that guarantee that they will grow up successful, rich and complete. Unfortunately, the answer is a big NO. No one can guarantee how or what they will grow up to be. The best we can do is to provide a good foundation and fundamentals for them to build on as they grow up in this world and this society.

Am I an expert? Hell No! This is just how I would bring up my child and learnt as I grow with them and enjoy the process and the journey. I hope that you would too .....:)