Friday, August 3, 2012

No Directions! No User Manual!

I was reading a blog of a blogger mummy who was questioning what is the right parenting and what is wrong parenting. 

Being a parent myself, I have received countless advice on what is right and what should be done from so many `so called' experts or `experienced' parents. I know many of them meant good but many of their advice seemed to contradict each other if you analyse them deeply. So, which should I follow? If I am not doing what they claimed is the `right' thing to do, does that mean I have not been a good parent. Does that mean that my child will grow up any less smarter, less intellectual, less complete and worst, emotional scared. The responsibility sometimes is just too heavy to bear...

I do not really know whether I have been a good parent. All I know is that I am doing my very best to the best of my understanding and with lots of love.

I personally do not believe in laying my hands on them anymore. But trust me, in my younger days, Reuben, my eldest son from my previous marriage had felt my wrath in full. I felt that talking to them nowadays would be a better idea but trust me, there are many times when Ryan would test my patience to the limit and there were times when I almost cross that edge .... Children seemed to have that tendency to test our limits don't they ...

But I like what this Canadian mother said about parenthood, when we happened to sit next to each other during one of our breakfast in this American diner in San Francisco during our recent holiday.

She said, parenting is like purchasing a product and when the box arrived, surprised! There is no directions as to how to use the product! There is No User Manual! You got to figure how best to use it as you go along.

How true. I really believe that there is no hard and fast rules on what good or right parenting is. There is no pre-set rules as every child has his or her personality, natural talents and virtues. What is important for us as parent is to learn to understand that, recognize that and do all we can in love to nurture them into all they can be as they grow up. Will that guarantee that they will grow up successful, rich and complete. Unfortunately, the answer is a big NO. No one can guarantee how or what they will grow up to be. The best we can do is to provide a good foundation and fundamentals for them to build on as they grow up in this world and this society.

Am I an expert? Hell No! This is just how I would bring up my child and learnt as I grow with them and enjoy the process and the journey. I hope that you would too .....:)


Andrew said...

how true is that... Parenting is indeed a journey of discovery and surprises :)

Yee Ling said...

Well said daddy. Sometimes the surprises tend to give you a heart stops.

Mummy and daddy: Angie and Ben said...

I like that.. and totally agree that they don't come with a user manual. And also no one way is "the way" to correct parenting. Each child need a different way of handling..

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